drakyndra

Well, for those on my flist who aren't actually Second Floor Types, today was the Slave Auction. If you don't know what this is, basically, people get a chance to "buy" another person, to be their personal slave (ie. do everything they want) for a 12 hour period. Of course, there were conditions, and no one could be forced to do anything they had a serious problem with and all that.

Anyhoo, details of the sales were as follows:

neo_leviathan was the auctioneer. 25 people were sold. The highest price was for

annatheannoying, who was sold for $59. Second was

neo_leviathan, for $33 (bit of a jump there), and the lowest price was for some random guy I don't know, named Steven, for $10.

I personally go sold for $22, and was bought by

altheas. So watch this space for whatever it is I am due to do.

Oh, and all the money raised was put into the various Second Floor Clubs.

Several people managed to accumulate enough slaves to create an Army of Darkness^TM - or at the very least, an Army of Moderate Gloom. And the main aimed of people getting sold seemed to be getting a higher price than that of Tim - $15, if anyone was interested.

Anyway, I spent quite a large bit of the night with my notebook out, copying down amusing quotes. I ended up with 19 pages of my mini-notebook filled with quotes, and I managed to finish my old one, and get a few pages into my nice shiny white one.

So look below for all your amusement needs:

One of the Rules for the buyers: Sexual favours by private arrangement only.

Unknown Person: (To annatheannoying) "So, you didn't become President for the power trip?"

annatheannoying: "No, for the doughnuts."

mercdaemon: (To neo_leviathan) "You know what comes after two, Darren?"

becker_: "No, he only thinks in binary."

neo_leviathan: "Come on, does anyone want to save Suresh from a fate worse than a fate worse than death?"

neo_leviathan: "You don't want your life in my hands - or your soul, or your dignity."

becker_: "You have any of those three?"

becker_: "Come on, I want some services performed!"

becker_: "Since when do you have money? Have you been drug laundering again?"

becker_: "I've got a sporran we can put dry ice in!
...
Come on, it's never harmed me.
...
It would make a great wedding present!"

neo_leviathan: "Tim is the cheapest slave so far. Who wants to tell him that?"

saikogrrl: "He's a cheap transvestite!"

becker_: "You can't put a red hat into dips, man."

melbournian: "Can you put Coke in dip?"

becker_: (About wolfishgrin) "Can I make him into a beer maid?
...
I want to make him wear a dress. I've got something at home he could wear..."

wolfishgrin: "I could wash cars, I can reach the top quite easily.
...I could steal you a car!"

becker_: (To altheas) "I'm all yours,big boy!"

altheas: "Come on, save me from a fate worse than Tristan!"

saikogrrl: "Describe what sort of muffins you are wearing."

becker_: (About neo_leviathan) "He's from K-mart, he has to break mirrors for a living."

neo_leviathan: "Yes, I'm currently up to 747 year bad luck."

neo_leviathan: (While selling me) "Anyone willing to put Melissa through the horror of coming to Uni in a plain brown outfit, and no accessories?"

wolfishgrin: (About lena_supercat) "Can we duct tape her to a stick?"

becker_: "No-one can go for higher than me - my ego is a fragile little bubble."

altheas: "Tristan's ego just went!"

becker_: "Oh, shit!"

saikogrrl: "I can do English tutoring, and help with essays, and I have a large collection of whips."

blinvisible: "Ten dollars!"

altheas: "37 dollars, and five pence!"

neo_leviathan: "I'll hold you to that."

altheas: "37 dollars and one million lira."

neo_leviathan: "Sorry, that's a lower bid than your last."

wolfishgrin: (To lena_supercat) "You don't have that much money!"

lena_supercat: "Yes I do."

wolfishgrin: "Not for long."

neo_leviathan: (To becker_) "Tristan, what have I told you about a cow's behind, your head and meeting like a socket wrench?"

mercdaemon: "Was that the one where they walked into a bar?"

bellmeister: "My Physics degree ain't worth Fourteen dollars!"

neo_leviathan: "Adrian has now used his phone-a-friend. He is now phoning an acquaintance."

wolfishgrin: (To becker_) "Tristan, do you want to be known as 'Duke' Tristan, or 'Darth' Tristan?"

neo_leviathan: (While selling Adrian) "Twenty-six dollars."

becker_: "Anyone for a conglomerate to see Adrian in an apron?"

wolfishgrin: "Twenty-seven dollars!"
Adrian: (On the phone to Angela, who is also bidding for him) "Whatever you do, just keep going!"

becker_: "She just wants to see him in an apron."
Adrian: "Oh, she can get that for free."

neo_leviathan: (About Angela on the phone) "Okay, she'll pay Thirty dollars, and she'll put him in a wedding dress and take photos."

becker_: "You think I could buy those aprons in bulk?"

annatheannoying: "I'll trade you two sheep for Scott."

altheas: (About lena_supercat) "She's already got the largest Army."

mercdaemon: "I'm waiting for the Monopoly card to come up."

ranorith: "I'll help you with Maths...while wearing a dress."

Geoff: "I can bullshit my way through all my subjects."
Me: "It's called being an Arts Student."

wolfishgrin: "Bullshitting your way through Arts isn't a skill."

blinvisible: "No, it's a necessity."

neo_leviathan: (Reading a text message from princesslaurene) "No! I am not being sold! I see no reason to be sold!"

saikogrrl: "Fifteen dollars!"

blinvisible: (In a text message to ephant) "You are now being sold. Congratulations!"

ephant's text back: "Hey, I didn't agree to that. Okay!"

mercdaemon: "Damn. I think I got bought by the wrong Army of Doom."

neo_leviathan: "Kate's got a pair..."

altheas: "The II Committee. Got to collect them all."

blinvisible: "I can make Elise play Magic!"

neo_leviathan: "Stefan, you evil, evil person. I congratulate you!"

becker_: "Damn hospital food. They had nice roast pork the other day, though."
(Everybody looks at him)
"What? The person was in a coma!"

becker_: "You must cook a nutritious meal, from the contents of this fridge."

neo_leviathan: "That's surprisingly easy - we now have a frozen squid in there."

becker_: "So that's where that went."

ranorith: "Who's Louise? I bought her."

annatheannoying: "Leave my iPod out of this. It's innocent."

becker_: (To altheas) "I have CPR training. Since you bought me, I can give you mouth-to-mouth!"

altheas: "I own you - I can force you to give mouth-to-mouth to others."

becker_: "Aha! My ambulance training strikes back!"

mercdaemon: "You know, that Darth Vader mask gave me ideas..."

neo_leviathan: "I can make you shorter...I know how to use a chainsaw."

wolfishgrin: "Everyone here knows how to use a chainsaw. It's a requirement."

becker_: "My Army of Darkness is just to serve me beer."

becker_: "I am Homo Tristianus."

becker_: "My tattoo's classy - it's like a set of instructions."

Me: "I'll go anywhere that has vegetarian."

wolfishgrin: "You eat vegetarians?"

Me: "That's my slogan for tonight: 'Mind went Wrong Places!'"

altheas: "Closely followed by the rest of your body."

becker_: "It's always Lemon Fresh or Lavender Fresh. Why do toilets always have something beginning with 'L'?"

wolfishgrin: "Lesbian Fresh?"

lena_supercat: "Who else would I believe in, other than myself?"

altheas: "Cheesecake"

(The next couple are from an impromptu II Committee meeting at the restaurant)

wolfishgrin: "Can I object to something, just for the fun of it?"
Tobias: "I object to the fact I can't hear you."

wolfishgrin: "Seconded."

becker_: "Thirded."

wolfishgrin: "I object!"

altheas: "Tristan, pour pepper down your throat."

fa11ing_away: "Motion seconded!"

becker_: "If I get naked, I want it to be for a good team name."

altheas: "Tristan will reach the Grand Final, undefeated, on body odour."

fa11ing_away: "I like my ears."

fa11ing_away: "I only bought Scott because I could imagine him in a dress."

becker_: "I'm not scary!"

becker_: "How come I've only go the spirits menu?"

wolfishgrin: "Because they know you."

wolfishgrin: "...It comes out your floppy drive."

becker_: "These balls are making me cold!"

becker_: "It's crunchy underneith my balls."

becker_: "There's a little bit of Tristan in all of us."

mercdaemon: "I want my little bit of Tristan surgically removed."

I usually don't quote myself, but altheas heard me, and insisted I put this in...
Me: (Just after I have dropped my spoon onto the floor) "There is no spoon!"

becker_: "...So there I was, running through Dandenong, wearing only a pair of pink tracksuit pants two sizes too small, with a 200 kilogram man chasing me with a machete."

ETA: And some comments I have been informed I need to add to my entry:

toley_elf: (Says something random about having a hole in her pocket.)

saikogrrl: Haha, wouldn't that be more useful if you were a guy?
Random person: It depends what you want to use it for....

saikogrrl: Ahahaha, and we wonder why Tole needs such strong glasses!

toley_elf: *doubles up and falls over*

saikogrrl: (To annatheannoying) You're Anna the Annoying.

annatheannoying: ... *blinks*

lena_supercat: From Livejournal.

annatheannoying: ... *nods*

saikogrrl: I'm saikogrrl!

I also took a few photos. Most aren't hugely relevent, but these two were amusing, so I thought I might share them.