When sleeping isn't an option, I find badfic

[drakyndra]

...And boy, is this one a doozy.

Do people around here remember Rose Pearse? She who declared all people who criticized her fic misscam? (For those who don't, my collation of her epic crazy can be found here, or briefly summed up here.

In any case, since the first series of the Tenth Doctor is over she has decided to celebrate that...by giving Ten his own series of fanfic on her charming site. And the story which spins it off her main story is a doozy.

Ten (how original).

It's... spectacularly bad. Also, it makes Nine out to be right selfish bastard (and seems to have missed the whole "The Doctor doesn't settle down" thing the series went into), Rose into an immature brat a million times worse than even Rose-haters would ever call the canon one, treats her own OC horribly, and despite the fact the story is set up to be a cse of Ten as the bad guy who does something good, so our saintly heroes deign to forgive him, does a better job of making him look like a complete saint for being nice to these twats.

Oh, and her use of thermodynamics makes me want to weep.

Comments

[drakyndra.livejournal.com]

Apparently Nine's body has such an insanely high fever (which is terrible science in it's own right, but it's not like I can argue about alien biology), and when they cool him down by putting him in the TARDIS pool, the pool water noticably becomes warmer.

Uh-huh. And then there is a joke about Thermodynamics being the Doctor's post-grad study. When, you know, this sort of thermodynamics is stuff that you do in secondary school, just on a larger scale.

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

oooh, the Doctor is an immersion heater? I want one! How does he stir? With his feet? *facepalms*

Nice. My proteins are protesting a little, but... nice. Nothing can beat the "It felt like birthday, christmas and a traffic jam free A46 on the same day" sentence, though *rofl*

[drakyndra.livejournal.com]

He's in a coma. He just... sits in the water.

And how else were they supposed to express their utter joy?

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

I have no idea. I expected something more from a textbook Mary Sue that was able to get the Master to shag with her *facepalms*

And the pool thing... wow, themodynamics must really work different for a Time Lord. It'd be SO much easier to have one like these in the lab instead of waiting hours for the heater to do his job...

[drakyndra.livejournal.com]

The Master, WTF?

What every lab needs, eh?

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

Totally. Hold his finger inside the water and PING it's ready. Paradise *sighs*

And yes, vanilla(but the Master's very dark and DANGEROS) MarySue/Master sex. I couldn't stop laughing for days... oh, and the Daleks are peaceful on MarySuePlanet. It's marvellous, really *g*

[drakyndra.livejournal.com]

I think I need a link to this Master/Sue fic. It sounds hilarious in all the ways that I could use right now.

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

I fear it's german... but I translated some bits of the first fic (Shock, horror, there are more) here

[drakyndra.livejournal.com]

Oh, if only I spoke German! That's still hilariously bad, mind.

[xwingace]

I could possibly be persuaded to translate more... If I was bored enough (and had a link to the actual fic...)

XWA

[melata-fic.livejournal.com]

Mary Sue/Master... I thought I was the only one who entertained such thoughts. Heh.

(Mind you, I'd probably have scary BDSM stuff, yes. With that shrinking device involved.)

*jokes*